Just Another Manic Monday....

Today's Quote:

"I am ready for love why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom to be held in your captivity
I am ready for love all of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes just to stay in your good grace
Lately I've been thinking maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow I'll say the same thing
I am ready for love would you please lend me your ears
I promise I won't complain I just need you to aknowlegde I am here
If you give me half a chance I will prove this to you
I will be patient kind faithful and true
To a man who loves music a man who loves art
Respects the spirit world and thinks with his heart
I am ready for love if you take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach and do the best that I can
I am ready for love here with an offering of
My voice my eyes my soul my mind
Tell me what is enough to prove I am ready for love
I am ready"

- India Arie, Lyrics to I Am Ready For Love

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately... a lot of really insightful blogs... so I wanted to give a little shout out to all the blog authors out there... what a community we have!!

Now the ramblings...

I am feeling really apathetic today - disinterested - melancholy - and I can't really figure out why. My life is going alright. Since my acceptance of the new job in television I have been EXTREMELY HAPPY... but today is different. I feel like something is missing. I moved in with my mom a couple years ago because her house is really close to my old office. But I left that job in December to work in Boston again, and now I am faced with an aggravating commute everyday that eats away at me. Sure I relish the alone time. I like being able to just sit in my own quiet and read or listen to my iPod and not feel like there is someone I am ignoring... the fact of the matter is during my commute I ignore everyone! But I have to leave my house at 7am in order to get to my office for 9am... and leave at 5pm only to arrive home at 7:30. My soul longs for my own apartment. A little corner of the world that I don't have to share with anyone... if I want all my kitchen appliances to be perpendicular or parallel to each other no one will have any reason to care... or if I want to leave the TV on all night no one will notice. It isn't that I don't have the money to get my own place, but I am back in school, and paying for it myself... what if I don't get any financial aid on year? What will I do then? And lets be realistic... Boston is crazy expensive!! I don't really want to live in some freakishly small apartment! Picky?? Why yes I am!!

I can't help but think that my melancholy is more than the whole apartment thing... I think it has to do with the fact that I am actually tired of being single. Strange to hear myself say (or type as the case may be) these words because I have always been the serial bachelorette. Happier doing what I want instead of making compromises for other people... but I feel alone - and it's sad. I have friends, but we all know that it isn't the same. I feel things changing around me and I see my friends sharing moments with their significant others... who should I share things with? I always called guys that I was "seeing" my insignificant others, and now that joke instead of making me smile, makes me sigh... I used to have so much fun with Mr. K. and I shit all over that by never letting go, or giving in... now we are like "nothing" to each other - hardly even friends... we chat here and there, sometimes meet up, but not in each others lives... and in his place - where I used to put these "disposable" men - I now have no one... it's like I don't want to waste my time or something... and instead of wasting time I am biding it... six of one, half dozen of another...

-me

I'd like to Teach the World to Sing.....

Today's Quote:
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
- Aristotle

Random thought;

I don't know if I have ever told any of you this, but I HATE bananas... I haven't eaten one in over 12 years. The last time I ate a banana I threw up and now I can't stand the thought of them. It's funny though because I have thrown up because of booze too (haven't we all), but I continue to drink. HAHA.

Now on to my ramblings...

What has happened to TRUE Hip Hop and good music in general? I am tired of listening to the music that artists are putting out. I mean... I bob my head to the beat, but what on earth are the talking about? NOTHING... ass (girls with big ones, and getting some), money, jewelry, grills... Damn... if that is what our generation is reduced to then we are in seriously sad condition. Call me old fashion, but I really enjoy The Roots, Common, A Tribe Called Quest, Erykah Badu, Lenny Kraitz... I'd rather hear lyrics like "...there are times when you need someone, and I will be by your side..." (Love goes out to the people who actually know the name and album of that song) instead of "oooo boy your lookin like you like what you see, won't come over and check up on it..." (No surprise that all of you probably know this song)... I'm no hypocrite... I listen to the radio, all I want to know is when it became the norm for music to be so shallow?? We wonder why our children are having sex at younger and younger ages, and why drugs are running rampant through schools, but the lyrics of the music these kids are listening to are telling them to get high and have sex... Um... HELLO!! Self-fulfilling prophesy...??!!

Music used to be about voicing social angst... crooning about love... should we assume that musicians no longer are in touch with their pain? Are they too far removed from their humble beginnings now that they are sitting in their $5.9 million dollar Malibu mansion sipping their $1000 per bottle champagne preparing a ridiculous monologue for their 12 minute spot on MTV Cribs?? Here's a solution... lets stop buying their albums so that they have to downsize - they can then re-connect with the pain they made them famous to begin with...

If Aristotle is correct, which I suspect and believe he is, Beyonce is in serious trouble... at the rate she is going all she repeatedly does is shake her ass... what kind of personal excellence is that? unless it's just an act...

-me

Ladies and Gentlemen... Thank you for joining our tour... If you'll look out your left window, you will see a MORON...

Today's Quote:
"Elaine should really get away from these guys. She is bogged down by this trio of morons. She just needs healthy relationship."
- Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Ok... am I wrong or are there complete morons everywhere I go?

Today, for example, I was on the train... and instead of acting gracious, this over-indulged ass monkey starts coughing and coughing like he has the plague... and unlike any normal person with at least a modicum of social graces HE DID NOT COVER HIS MOUTH!!

Then I was walking at a nice pace through Harvard Square (trying to get to the Red Line) and this Brittany-Jessica-Lindsay-Olsen Twins looking thing steps out of the Garage right into oncoming foot traffic... and instead of either stepping out of the way or walking with the people, she chose to stand and look up at the sky... I mean she was looking up a the friging sky... during rush hour in a busy section of the city!! What is the deal with these morons????

Have they no clue that they are morons? Do they not realize that there are social norms that people follow in order to keep things in order? That people need to use these norms to keep the order?? Grrr...... it's not like it's hard...

Here are rules 1 through 5

1. On an escalator - standers stay to the right, and walkers go to the left
2. In an elevator if you are standing near the buttons, you should offer to push the buttons for people as the enter
3. If you are holding hands while walking down the street, either stand close together so faster walkers can go around, or be prepared to play an involuntary game of Red Rover!
4. At Starbuck... it is IMPERATIVE that you both remember your name, and your order so you don't try to take someone elses's drink (early morning commuters my kick your ass for this violation)
5. If you sneeze or cough - COVER YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

-me

Monday holidays... Saving grace..........

Today's Quote:
"...You don't feel you could love me but I feel you could"
-Paul Simon

Ah.... is there anything more relaxing than a Monday Holiday? Knowing on Sunday that you don't have to go to work the next day... and on Monday you can completely do anything you want. There are no expectations for what you sould accomplish or what you need to do. You can run errands and putter around and who cares?

i bought a new featherbed today. I am really excited. My bed is now the most comfortable place on earth... 400 count egyptian cotton sheets and a down comforter and the featherbed... its great... A safe haven!

Not an awesome post today, but you get what you get and you don't get upset (right MAC???)

-me

**Warning: this entry contains personal opinions that may be offensive if you are very ugly – I take no responsibility if your feelings are hurt**

**Warning: this entry contains personal opinions that may be offensive if you are very ugly – I take no responsibility if your feelings are hurt**

Today’s Quote:

“If you’re fucking ugly or need a step stool to look me in the eye… don’t kick it to me.”

-unknown

I have never met a person, be they ugly, fat, tall, thin, beautiful… whatever, who didn’t know exactly what they were. Do you know what I mean? Pretty people know they are pretty and ugly people know they are ugly. It is as simple (and complicated) as that. Now… there are things that people can do to enhance their best feature and minimize their worst feature (make-up, body slimming lingerie, put lifts in thier shoes, etc.), but at the end of the day… you are what you are. There is often intermingling between these groups, the pretties marry the uglies (Heidi Klum and Seal)– the shorts marry the talls (Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise)… It is really up to the people involved and therefore..........

I would like to make a declaration…

I won’t marry… hell I won’t even date a tiny ass man. If we are standing next to each other and I can see the top of your head (bald spot to eye-ball is never hot!) it just won’t work. I am 5’11” after all, I love high heels, and I like to slow dance. I’m sorry, I don’t find it romantic to dance cheek to boob! I’m like a roller coaster – height restriction strictly enforced.

I’m pretty… and I’m not attracted to men who look like a gopher-rat mix. I won’t apologize for it either… I can be friends with ugly people (I think – I don’t have any UGLY friends right now but I have in the past) but please all you ugly men, if you and I are friends – obviously platonic friends – DO NOT TRY TO KISS ME!!! It will freak me out, I’ll feel badly about having to yell at you, and we won’t be friends anymore.

Please don’t misunderstand… all people deserved to be respected and I have respect for all people regardless of looks, race, or creed!
And all people deserve to be loved… pretty, ugly, short, and tall alike… just not all by me!

-me

An Affair to remember......

Today's Quote:

"Great love affairs start with Champagne and end with tisane."

-Honore de Balzac

As my loyal readers know, I had an affair with Swedish Fish. I lusted after their innocent and nostalgic flavor like a junkie lusts after crack... ok, that may be a little over dramatic, but if you happened to run into me during my affair you would know that I was really hooked. HOWEVER, the joy Swedish Fish brought me was not without consequence... after my routine visit to the dentist it has been brought to my attention that I have CAVATIES!!!! My once virginal un-decayed teeth are no more... they are now branded with an Enamal colored "D". Will Pop-Ice forgive me? and take me back? doubtful... my indecression was overt and blatant. Who can I run to?

-me

Valentine's Day... doesn't get me down

Today's Quote:

"Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever"

- Author Unknown

I keep hearing all these single women as they rant and rave about their deep hatred for Valentine's Day. What is the big deal? When you're in great relationship and your boy buys you a beautiful bouquet of the deepest red roses, or takes you on a romantic date the "holiday" is just divine. Why then can't single women use Valentine's day as a reminder of how nice it is to be in a loving and nice relationship instead of letting jealousy rear its ugly head? I won't lie... there were years when I seriously considered burning mementos in effigy and drank until I couldn't remember why I was drinking... but with age comes wisdom, and so here I sit on yet another Valentine's Day on which I am single and I feel oddly calm. Now I will not pretend to be in a festive ensemble, or that I came into work and handed out adorable gifts to all my co-workers - but I will say that if I had thought about it I would have. I have re-vamped my feelings on the day... I think that it should be a "holiday" that marks the IMPORTANCE of love, the BEAUTY of love, the POWER of love... I don't pity myself for not being in love, but instead I am really looking forward to falling in love... once and for all!

-me

MBTA etiquette..... this means you!

Today's Quote:

"New York, New York
The Morning News Guide to Urban Etiquette: New York City
by The Editors
We see all kinds of behavior in New York, and as citizens, we practice our own varieties. Call it research, this constant bumping-into, hustling-over, spitted-on; some people behave well in this city, others don’t. The Editors complied this guide to help the tourist and veteran alike in navigating New York in the best possible manner.
We see all kinds of behavior in New York, and as citizens, we practice our own varieties. Call it research, this constant bumping-into, hustling-over, spitted-on; some people behave well in this city, others don’t. Based on good and bad examples of etiquette we’ve witnessed, this guide has been compiled to help the tourist and veteran alike in navigating New York in the best possible manner.

On the Subway Platform

When entering the subway station pay utmost attention to the movements of the other travelers. Look for holes in the wave of those walking up the stairs and try to enter without disturbing the flow of human passage. Be hardy: despite whatever stress may come from trying to reach the subway platform, do not, under any circumstances, act upon your frustration – by groaning, rolling your eyes, standing still in contempt, etc. – you will only pain yourself in the face of an uncaring mob.

It is a law of physics that no two physical bodies can occupy the same point in space at the same time. Thus, when your train arrives, always let passengers off the train before you get on. This is no situation to be messing with physics.

On occasion, you may find your train pulling into the station as you are still descending the stairs. In such a case, put spring into your step and attempt to get aboard. If you are successful: bravo. If you are unsuccessful: pay it no mind; you’ll wait. If you’re halfway in-between and are trying to wedge the doors open with your satchel: give it up. It’s rude to the other passengers who are trying to reach their destination and the train conductor – a staunch proponent of urban etiquette – will never stand for it. Barely missing the open doors and appearing truly sad will sometimes melt their steely glare, but attempting to force your way on board will never – never – be met with pity.

It is always rude to bleed near someone, especially in a crowded train station. If you find yourself bleeding while waiting for the subway, excuse yourself and find a nearby dressing station. In the worst case scenario – where your head feels light and you’ve forgotten your name – go to a hospital. Do not board the train.

The subway platform exists for one purpose only: a place to bide time until your train arrives. And bide you will. When the occasion arises that fellow biders ask you for directions, make the most of it. You’ve time to kill and what better way to let it pass than helping someone out? If you don’t know which trains they should take, consult a map. Discuss possible routes and suggest worthwhile eateries and attractions they’ll find on arrival.

There is nothing more aggravating than a percussion performer on the subway platform, especially one that uses plastic tubs as drums. Do not offer money or encouragement to this person; save it for the violinist, the guitar player, or the mime.

In the Subway Car

If riding alone, keep to yourself. Read your book, listen to music (whether portable or imagined), stare at your feet. Don’t engage other passengers in mild conversation; they’re preoccupied with the same activities and usually don’t wish to be disturbed. The very act of riding the subway is a performance in itself. While many riders may secretly wish to have a chat with you (you may be very hot), they are far too involved – as should you be – in complete submersion in their chosen character: that of the mute.

If riding with friends, you may, of course, speak freely with them. Keep conversation personal, quiet, and, whenever possible, not about any of the other passengers’ appearance or fashion choices. In this case, keep to yourselves.

Subway trains are often crowded; if you’re standing by a door as the train pulls into the station, and you’re not getting off, get off anyway and allow people to exit the train, then rush back in before the next wave starts moving.

Pregnant women, old people, the disabled, people with strollers, and children deserve seats more than you, unless you fall into one of those categories, at which point ‘duking it out’ will decide who sits down. You are under no obligation to relinquish your seat just because someone asks for it, but if they’ve gone so far as to ask, it’s likely they need it more than you do."

I live in the Boston area and ride the "T"... here are a few things I would like to add...

I am SO SICK of ass-holes and their backpacks on rush-hour trains too... is it too much to ask that they remove the pack from their back so as not to smack innocent bystanders? IS IT?

And... I know this is a fucked up thing to say, but if you are really fat, DON'T TRY TO SQUEEZE YOURSELF INTO A SEAT!!!!!!! I mean really... the other day this oversized woman wedged herself in the seat next to me, then proceeded to rest her arm on MY LEG... as if it were her own! Total disrespect!

-me